How Angola says, "Good Morning"

I had a post ready for today, telling you about Adam and I going golfing.  I was relaxed, puttering around the house after putting the kids on the school bus.  I went to let Fletcher out the back door, and as soon as I slid open the glass, I felt something big fly into my hair and stay there.  I reacted like any reasonable person, and started screaming and shaking my head.  Nothing fell out onto the ground, so I started wondering if I'd imagined it.....and then I looked down at my shirt.

"Good morning, Katie!"

Sometimes....I really hate Africa.

Thankful

As everyone at home is gearing up for Thanksgiving, I'm feeling a little sad that we're left out.  True, we will celebrate with a few other fabulous families on Saturday, but I am sad that we don't get to be with our fabulous family.  I do, however, have a lot to be thankful for.  In no particular order, the things I'm really thankful for are:

1) Technology.  Sure, the internet connection here is really sporadic and slow, but it does allow us to keep in touch with our loved ones.  Hearing my mom's voice, getting a voicemail from my dad, and laughing with friends are all a huge boost to me.

2) Love.  The kids are so loving and sweet (most of the time) and sometimes it is hard to believe that I really could be so blessed.  Max has his own cell phone (with only a few key adults' phone numbers programmed into it) and he texts me every day when he gets out of school.  Yesterday's text said, "On bus.  Been here 4 a long time.  How was ur day?  I'm sure mine will get a lot better when I see u!"

3) Our house.  This is kind of ridiculous, since our house has been the source of so much stress - but I still am very thankful for it.  We have a place to sleep each night, and a place that we're making many good memories in.  It's the middle of the hot, rainy season here, and we've had lots of nights where there is rain and lightning - which doesn't affect us.  Our maid, however, has had her house flood, and her kids have had to shovel out water and mud.  She's hoping to save up to afford a cement floor soon, so that she doesn't have these problems.  I am very, very thankful.

So You're Thinking About Moving to Angola...

I've had a fair number of conversations with women who are considering moving to Angola with their spouse. Each time, I'm reminded of just how much I've adapted and changed in just one year.  When we first found out that Angola was a possibility, I was panicked at the thought of moving to Africa.  I searched online for a blog that might help, but found very little information.  If you are thinking about becoming an expat here, I'd like to share some thoughts that I think would be helpful.

1) You CAN survive here.  It sounds crazy, and lots of people might tell you that you shouldn't consider it - but the fact is, there are a LOT of expat families here who are happy and thriving.  If this is your first expat experience, then it will be a huge learning curve for you, but it absolutely CAN be done.

2) Practice the "at least" game.  Your car broke down?  At least you have a car!  The heater doesn't work?  At least you have blankets!  It sounds silly, but this skill is invaluable when you live here.  It doesn't solve your problems, but it CAN be the difference between getting bogged down by your problems or moving on.  It could always be worse!

3) If you're worried about your kids, don't be.  The kids adapt way faster than us adults, and honestly I think their lives are pretty darn great here.  They learn great life skills, they forge tight bonds with their siblings, and in a lot of places, they have more freedom than they would back in the US.  In our compound, for example, my three kids can walk to the playground and play unsupervised.  They know that they can go to roughly any of twenty different houses in the neighborhood, and count on an adult being there to help them.  They will have stories to last them the rest of their lives, and a broader knowledge of the world than kids who haven't lived abroad.

4) There are plenty of things that you can't buy here - but you can usually bring them.  A lot of people (including me) get hung up on the stuff that you can't get here.  Clothing, appliances, toiletries, waffles....the list is long, but if you're willing to plan a little, and put in a little extra effort - you can have whatever you deem necessary.

That's it for now, but I hope this helps someone feel reassured that life here isn't totally miserable.  Sometimes it is, but that's true anywhere.  And even though I still struggle with the challenges here, I think the good outweighs the bad.

International Day 2012

One of the very best parts of living overseas (in my humble opinion) is that our whole family is exposed to amazing people, cultures, and experiences that we would never see in the US.  The international school that our kids attend has a yearly event that really exemplifies why I feel that all of the struggles that come with living here are worth it.  International Day is a time for all of the countries represented by students in the school to teach us about their country.  Families come together to have a booth for each country, where they prepare food to share, maps, costumes....really anything and everything that they feel is important to represent about their country.  On the day of the event, there is a parade and performances.  Kids and adults visit each booth, and it is an amazing experience.  This year I was up close and personal to all of the action, because the PTA organizes International Day!  It was a lot of work, a lot of stress and sweat and possibly a bit of swearing.....but it was a success!

I'm so glad that my kids have this chance to be exposed to so many beautiful cultures and people, and I'm proud that I helped to make the day great.....but I will NOT be volunteering for the PTA next year! It is a ton of work, and I have so much respect for the women who have done it more than once!

Weight

Sorry!!!  My poor little blog has been ignored for the past few weeks, and it isn't because I don't have stories to tell, or photos to share....it's because I've been overwhelmed with activities and responsibilities and truthfully, I've been a little depressed.  The PTA group is such a great bunch of ladies, and having all of the planning and tasks involved with that has helped make the last couple of months pass quickly - but not quickly enough.  It's been 16 weeks since we left the US, and I've been feeling every one of those weeks weighing on me.  I really expected that by now - our second year into the Angola experience - I would have adjusted to life here and wouldn't be so bogged down by all of it.  I know I have adjusted so much, but it's still not enough to say that I'm enjoying it, truthfully.  I'm trying, I am trying my very best, every day, to push through my frustrations and sadness and make the most of it - but I still very much wish I could hop back on a plane to Alaska and forget this expat nonsense.

"Mom, how can you not be happy?"

What's stopping me from throwing in the towel here?  The fact that the other four members of my family are thriving here.  Adam is constantly exhausted, but he enjoys his job and takes pride in doing it.  Max, Molly, and Miles are all doing great in school and you would never know that they're missing any part of living in a civilized country.  They miss their family and friends back in the US, but they have adapted and blossomed in more ways than I could have predicted.  So what is wrong with me?

Maybe I lived too long in the US, and I just can't quite give up the notion that things SHOULD be easier.  Definitely I'm spoiled.  But I'm not giving up.  I refuse to give more weight to my needs than those of my family, and they are most definitely doing great here.  I just need to figure out how to get with the program, and find a way to make it great for me, too.

A Long, Strange Week

I honestly don't even know where to start telling you about my week.  To say that it's been a doozy would be a giant understatement, but at the same time, I know that it could always be worse.  Still - it's pretty darn amazing how many things can go wrong for one family in a short period of time.

So - we moved out of our house on Tuesday.  After the kids left for school, Adam and I packed up our things and loaded the car with everything we needed for four days in the hotel.  It took a little while, but finally we were ready to go....and then the car wouldn't start.  I called a friend who lives in the neighborhood, and she kindly sent her driver to get us.  We transferred all of our stuff to their car, and went to the hotel.  The hotel has about 15 'chalets' for extended stays, and we were put into one of them.  This is supposed to be one of the very nicest hotels in all of Angola, and it IS very nice - as long as you keep in mind where you are.  The furnishings are a little odd....like this coffee table.

Less coffee table, more coffin table

But the kids were jazzed to stay in a new place, so we tried to look at it as a little adventure, and settled in.  The thing I was MOST excited about was taking a bath.  It's been so long since we had hot water in our house, and this hotel has a beautiful big bathtub!  After getting the kids tucked in, I had a lovely hot bath.  I left the water in for Adam (we do this a lot, since he doesn't like having a HOT bath) and went downstairs.  As I was putting things away in the kitchen, I heard water draining, and knew he had finished with his bath.  I thought to myself, "That sure sounds like the water is draining right over my head!" but I figured the pipes must be right above me.  Until....water started raining down on my head!  Yep, we didn't leave our water problems at home, we somehow brought them with us!  I was so tired, so overwhelmed with dealing with stuff like this, that I simply threw a towel on the floor under the leak and went to bed.  

On top of this, we've all been battling a nasty cold.  I woke up yesterday (Thursday) with no voice at all, and feeling awful.  I've been to our house twice to get more supplies, and both times I've been appalled at what a disaster area it is.  They've drilled through the cement walls, the entire place is coated in a thick layer of dirt....it's a mess.  Supposedly we're going to be able to move back in today, but I'm not packing my bags just yet.

Since we're in a hotel, I haven't been able to cook.  This means we've gone out to dinner THREE nights in a row!  Twice we've gone to a Chinese restaurant that our driver took us to, and once we went to a new little bakery/restaurant nearby.  The Chinese food was really good, and when we asked our driver what the name of the place was, he told us, "Chinese Restaurant."  Okay, that'll be easy to remember!  And at the bakery/restaurant, they have a little store.  When JoAnn and I were in there a week ago, she had mentioned to the manager that it would be great if they carried peanut butter.  Well, this time I looked around the store and what did I see?  Skippy peanut butter!!!  It was the high point of my entire week, which is sort of sad.  

I guess it's a little morbid of me, but whenever I start feeling really sorry for myself, I always think about parents who have really sick children, or parents who have had children die.  It sounds terrible, but it does quickly bring me back to the reality of how little my problems really are.  So many times in the past year I've felt like I couldn't take one more problem, one more inconvenience or stress....but I guess we have no idea how much we can bear until we have to do it.  And as crazy as it sounds, I still do believe we're in the right place, at least for now.  Our kids are happy and thriving, making friends and learning amazing things.  Hearing each of them speak Portuguese makes me so happy, and teasing Adam about his Portuguese makes me happy, too.  So don't worry about us, we're doing okay - even if we do seem to be magnets for domestic disasters!

Two Months, 11 Days, and 12 hours

Our house is officially a disaster.  We're being moved tomorrow to a hotel, so that they can shut off our power for four days and (supposedly) fix it.  I've asked, suggested, begged, and demanded that they move us permanently to another house in the compound, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. So instead, I get to pack up my three children, the dog, school supplies, clothing, and everything else we'll need for four days, and completely disrupt our lives.  I've got to figure out where to move all of our refrigerated and frozen foods for four days, and find someone to fill in for me on bus duty.  Oh, and just to keep things interesting, I've also got two kids home sick!  So....I'm counting the days until we go on vacation.  This stinks.