Weight

Sorry!!!  My poor little blog has been ignored for the past few weeks, and it isn't because I don't have stories to tell, or photos to share....it's because I've been overwhelmed with activities and responsibilities and truthfully, I've been a little depressed.  The PTA group is such a great bunch of ladies, and having all of the planning and tasks involved with that has helped make the last couple of months pass quickly - but not quickly enough.  It's been 16 weeks since we left the US, and I've been feeling every one of those weeks weighing on me.  I really expected that by now - our second year into the Angola experience - I would have adjusted to life here and wouldn't be so bogged down by all of it.  I know I have adjusted so much, but it's still not enough to say that I'm enjoying it, truthfully.  I'm trying, I am trying my very best, every day, to push through my frustrations and sadness and make the most of it - but I still very much wish I could hop back on a plane to Alaska and forget this expat nonsense.

"Mom, how can you not be happy?"

What's stopping me from throwing in the towel here?  The fact that the other four members of my family are thriving here.  Adam is constantly exhausted, but he enjoys his job and takes pride in doing it.  Max, Molly, and Miles are all doing great in school and you would never know that they're missing any part of living in a civilized country.  They miss their family and friends back in the US, but they have adapted and blossomed in more ways than I could have predicted.  So what is wrong with me?

Maybe I lived too long in the US, and I just can't quite give up the notion that things SHOULD be easier.  Definitely I'm spoiled.  But I'm not giving up.  I refuse to give more weight to my needs than those of my family, and they are most definitely doing great here.  I just need to figure out how to get with the program, and find a way to make it great for me, too.