Pushing

I've written before about how challenging it is to go shopping here.  Grocery shopping is not ever a really fun task, but in Angola it borders on torture.  The smells, the bugs, the crowds, the lack of edible food....it's no one's idea of a good time.  Given all of that, I try very hard to not subject my kids to the grocery stores.  Sometimes, though - it's unavoidable.

Last weekend, while we were out for lunch for Max's birthday (KFC - the one and only American 'restaurant' in Angola!), I needed to get a few groceries for dinner.  I took Max and Molly with me, and Adam and Miles went to the car to wait for us.  We had the misfortune of being at the closest grocery store to our house - which is also one of the nastiest.  My plan was to grab the few items we needed, and get through the store as fast as possible.  Well......it was Saturday, which is the worst day to be in the stores.  It was even MORE crowded than usual.  The kids and I navigated through the packed aisles, dodged the roaches (not exaggerating!) and got into one of the ridiculously long lines.  After a few minutes, a man with an armload of groceries maneuvered his way in front of us.  I rolled my eyes and sighed, but decided against making a fuss.  A few minutes later, two men tried to do the same thing.  So....let me state the obvious here, and tell you that it's different in Angola than in the US.  In the US, it's generally understood by everyone over the age of 3 that 'cutting' in line is not ok.  In Angola, the consensus seems to be that if you can get away with it, it's worth a try.  So I'd had enough, and told these guys to get to the back of the line.  They sheepishly went back, and I tried to not feel rattled.  That 'safe' feeling you have at home, when you speak up - where you pretty much know that if you call someone out for obviously bad behavior, someone will have your back?  Not here.  It doesn't matter that I'm a woman, doesn't matter that I have young children with me - no one is going to stick up for me if I get into trouble.

So finally we make it to the front of the line, and I start putting our groceries on the counter.  Max and Molly were standing behind me, next to the cart.  Suddenly I hear Max quietly, but in an upset voice, saying, "No!"  I look up, and the same two men are right behind him, pushing him to try to get past!  My poor Max was NOT budging - even though he was frightened, he was not about to let those guys get around him.  I'm like most moms - if you mess with my kids, you're going to see me go all mama bear on you.  I marched over there, and in my best Portuguese, told them to stop.  The cashier and all the people around us were watching, and no one felt the need to help me. After a few tense moments, they finally moved back.  I was shaking, and managed to pay for our groceries, bag them, and get them in the cart.

It all ended up fine, but it was a tense situation, where I was reminded of just how vulnerable I am here.  I think the truth is, I'm not in any more danger here than anywhere else - there's just more of a sense of security in America, where I understand the culture and speak the language.  I'm not sure it's a bad thing to really experience what it feels like to be the underdog....it's just not fun.