Ta Fixe

We spent the day on board the BP fishing boat 'Ta Fixe' and had a blast!  We caught a total of 3 huge Dorado (aka Mahi Mahi) and then spent a few hours on Mussulo Beach.  Not a bad way to spend the last day of 2011.

I feel like I'm making some progress.  I took all 3 kids grocery shopping yesterday, and managed to not only survive, but also order everything I needed from the deli counter - speaking only Portuguese!  I still have SOOOO much to learn, but I'm getting pretty proficient at understanding the basics, and making myself understood.

I hope the new year brings more learning, adapting, and thriving for us here, and for everyone else.

Entitled

I've always known that I was born into a fortunate life.  We always had food, shelter, and clothing, as well as extras like toys and fun activities.  Having a parent who was a public school teacher meant that we would never be considered rich, but we could always count on having medical care.  In my adult life, this has continued.  We've lived paycheck to paycheck, always had a tight budget, but even through our short time where Adam was laid off - we always knew we had a home, food, and access to doctors.  The whole concept of knowing that you're fortunate, however, is very different than SEEING it right in front of your face each day.  This is something I've struggled with from the first time I arrived here - and I still don't have a firm grasp on how to feel okay about all that we have, especially compared to those around us.

I feel guilty every day.  Every day when our maid is working hard to keep our house clean, I feel bad.  Every day when we drive past the women with huge loads on their heads and a baby on their back....I feel bad.  So when someone here glares at me in response to my smile....I feel like I deserve it.  When they charge me a different price than the person behind me in line....I feel like I deserve that, too.  A friend here likes to bargain with the sellers in the market, which is an accepted practice - but I find I just don't have the heart for that, either.  One of the major reasons for us coming here was to save for our kids' education, as well as our retirement - so I don't think the answer is to give everything away.....but how do I continue to hold my head high as I live with so much more than the people here?

Speaking of entitled - if you've made it through this post, I'll leave you with a funny example of how I DON'T want to live:  Yesterday I sent Miles up to his room to clean up the toys he'd left scattered on the floor.  A few minutes later, Molly ran down the stairs to tell me that Miles was NOT cleaning his room - he was instructing our maid to put his toys away!!!  That kid...I'm trying with all my might to get him to use his powers for good, not evil - but he's testing me.  (and yes, our very sweet maid is now instructed to NOT clean up any of the kids' toys)

Refreshed!

I've been neglecting this blog, but for good reason - we went on vacation!  Our first Christmas out of the country, and we spent it in Cape Town, South Africa.  It was HEAVEN!  We stayed in a very nice condo at the Waterfront, and walked miles every day, seeing all the sights.  Adam and Max got to go cage diving with great white sharks, we walked on the beach with penguins, and got pick pocketed by little squirrel monkeys.  I was a little worried that I'd be more depressed once we had to come back to Angola, after having a little time in a place where life was easier - but in fact, it's been the opposite.  I had a great respite from cooking, from not speaking the language, from really everything that makes life here so hard for me - and now I feel like I can face it all again, hopefully with a better attitude.

I'll post some pictures soon, just have a few hundred to sort through!

While we were away, our water problems miraculously improved!  I'm not sure if it's because there are hardly any families left on the compound over the break, or if something was actually repaired - but it's lovely to be able to take a shower without hopping in and out of the spray, avoiding the rapid, random switches from scalding hot to freezing cold.  It's the little things that make such a difference.

Shopping like a hoarder

One of the things that I know has already been affected by our new home is the way that I shop.  Previously, I would either a) take a grocery list based on what we needed for the week, or b) run into the store and grab whatever I could put together as a last-minute meal.  Now, things are different.  I have a running list of things that I know are edible and reasonably safe to eat.  I buy these items in bulk, because I never know when I won't be able to find them.  I make a list when I go to the store, but I fully expect not to find any number of items on that list.  If I know something tends to be hard to find, that item is on the list, regardless of how many of it we already have at home.  So Adam went to the grocery store this weekend, to help me out and give me a break from the shopping.  It went a little like this.....

Adam:  "Honey, I can't find the sesame oil.  Do you know the word for sesame in Portuguese?"

Me:  "It's sesamo, I think.  If you can't find it, don't worry - just keep going down the list."

A few minutes later...

Adam:  "Uh, this bread flour on the list?  I see 'farinha de maize' is that it?"

Me:  "Nope, that's not it.  They usually don't have it, but sometimes they do - so just don't worry about it, and keep going down the list."

Five minutes later.....

Adam:  "Where do you usually find tortilla chips?  I see Cheetos and Lays, but no tortilla chips."

Me:  "I found them once at another store, they're on the list just in case they show up."

With shopping adventures like this, our pantry is starting to resemble that of a crazy person.  We've got 15 boxes of UHT milk (it doesn't expire for about 6 months, so you can stock up), 3 boxes of Rice Krispies, 4 loaves of sandwich bread, 5 bags of flour, 4 jars of peanut butter.....you get the idea.  When I imagine us going back to the US (yes, I fantasize about this daily) I wonder if I'm going to be a little overwhelmed at first, and just start grabbing things left and right like they're going to disappear.

One week from today we leave for Cape Town, South Africa.  I've been told that they have a lot more grocery items there, so hopefully that will be a chance for me to stock up on some items!  See....I'm a hoarder now.

Priceless

Not much to write about today, so I thought I'd give a little info on the prices we pay here - so that the next time you're in Target or Walmart, you can give thanks for the low prices YOU pay!  ;-)

Sour Cream - a tiny little 6 oz container = $5.79
Microwave Popcorn - 3 bags = $11.68
Cosmo magazine - US edition = $9.99
Whipping Cream - 1 liter = $10.79
Puff Pastry - 1 large sheet = $15.49
Celery - small bunch (wilted!) = $8.49
Cherry Tomatoes - small basket = $14.00
Tortilla Chips - about 8 oz bag = $7.60
Sliced Sandwich Bread - one loaf - $15.79


And we gladly pay these prices, because so many other things we'd LIKE to find...we can't.  In just the past 5 days alone, I have made (from scratch, always) - oatmeal raisin cookies, flour tortillas, waffles, syrup, cinnamon rolls, yogurt, applesauce, pizza dough, and salsa.  It's no wonder I'm always tired!

Urgente - mais ou menos

Ooooh, look at me - I'm learning portuguese!  You'll have to pardon the extreme sarcasm of this post - I'm feeling a little cranky after a long night spent at the ER.  Max's toe was looking worse and worse, and I had a gut feeling that handing us antibiotics and sending us on our way was NOT the best treatment.  After consulting with the nurse that BP has on call for us, Max and I headed back down to the clinic (via a borrowed driver, as ours was picking Adam up from work) on Friday afternoon.  Max and Molly stayed with my friend JoAnn, which was great.

So Max and I get to see the same doctor that saw us Tuesday, and she tried telling me that his toe looked better.  Uh....no.  His toe was now more swollen, oozing, and had a red streak that was extending down his big toe.  Once I pointed that out to her, she suddenly changed her tune and declared that we needed to go to the other clinic, the one on the 'Ilha' or island, and that he needed to have surgery done immediately.  We were told that even though the clinic closed at 5pm, as long as we told them it was 'urgente' - we would be seen, and that they had called ahead and let the surgeon know we were coming.

I was not so keen on the idea of my son having surgery in a 3rd world country...but I knew that it wasn't *such* a huge deal to have a portion of his toenail cut out and the wound cleaned up - so I wasn't getting too worked up.  We waited for our driver to bring Adam to the clinic, and then all 4 of us - Adam, Max, Bungo, and I - drove into the city to the other clinic.  It took almost 2 hours to get there, because of the crazy traffic.  Adam hadn't eaten all day, I hadn't brought any water with me, and all I had were some sticks of taffy that I keep on hand for bribing the kids when I'm bus mom.  So - everyone got taffy to sustain them!

We arrived at the clinic, and got shuffled around from window to window, until we finally found a woman who spoke English and could help us.  She planted us in a waiting area while she tried to locate someone who knew what to do with us, and Adam decided to go and try to find some water for us.  Of course, while he was gone, that's when she came back and led Max and I to see the doctor.  Oh. My.  She led us into a sort of makeshift recovery room, with about 8 stretchers pressed together, all of them full of people lying on them.  No curtains, no privacy - just Max and I cruising past their feet, trying not to look!  We saw the doctor, who pulled Max's shoe off and had a conversation in Portuguese with the nurse.  Then we were led back to a different waiting area.  Adam finally found us, and Max was able to tell him about our experience.  According to Max, it felt like he was 'walking through a mental institution!'  Almost an hour went by, and finally the doctor and the lady who spoke english came in to talk to us.  No one had called to let them know we were coming, and the surgeon was busy doing other surgeries.  Max's toe wasn't an emergency, so they'd prefer us to come back sometime next week to have it taken care of.  Adam asked them WHY the other doctor had said it WAS urgent, and they said, "Well, mais ou menos."  Well great, that clears it up - it's urgent....more or less.  They explained that we were welcome to wait a few hours and hope that the surgeon had time for us, or come back in the morning.  I'm glad Adam and I were both there to discuss it, and we finally decided that we didn't think his toe would fall off between then and the morning, so we opted to leave and come back the next day.

We finally got back home sometime around 9pm, and all fell into bed.  Adam and Max went back this morning, and in only about 5 hours, it was all taken care of.  Max's poor toe was cut open in several spots in order to clean out the infection, but no nail was removed.  He'd still on antibiotics, and we will go back Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to the clinic to have him checked on.  Please pray that his toe heals quickly and without further incident....this was exactly the type of situation that I was hoping to avoid here.  All things considered, it could always be worse - but let's hope that this is the most traumatic things get for us.

Finding the beauty

This is taken on the way to our house after the kids' tennis lesson earlier in the week.  If you take just this tiny snapshot of our life here, it looks so peaceful.  I guess it really all does depend on how you choose to look at things.  We feel safe in our little compound, and in only a month's time I have managed to make some friends that I know I can call on for help.  There's no end to the frustrations or worries or inconveniences here, but if I focus too long on those then I'll miss out on the beautiful things.