The Beginning of the End

I have been MIA from this blog for a long while, but there has been a lot going on in our lives. We found out in October that we will be relocating to Houston in February. This is super exciting, but very stressful, as there are a million tasks to do in order to transition back into life as American residents.

Our Christmas holiday was spent finding a house, cars, and schools. We will travel back to Angola for just a few weeks to wrap things up there, and then it will be another series of 'firsts' for us in Texas!  I think this blog will naturally come to a close as we will no longer be so far from family and friends, but I hope that other expats might still benefit from some of my experiences here.

I have mixed feelings about going back to a 'normal' life. On one hand, it's a relief. The past two and a half years have been a struggle for me, and I have spent most of that time living way outside of my comfort zone. I will miss the people I've met in Angola, including our dear housekeeper, who I will likely never see again. I will miss the slower pace of life, and the wonderful vacations that we were able to take. On the other hand......America! I haven't let myself dwell too much on what I've missed in the last couple of years, but now it is so exciting to think about! Driving myself! Fountain sodas! Gorgeous, clean, affordable fruits and veggies!

I think it's always a good thing to have a new appreciation of your blessings, and I most certainly have so much gratitude for the gifts in my life. I hope I can take this grateful outlook with me, and continue to benefit from the lessons learned during our time overseas.

Year 3

I can hardly believe it!  We have started our final year here in Angola!  In some ways it feels like just yesterday that I was staring out the windows of our house here, wondering how on earth I was going to survive an entire three years.  I would walk around the path inside our compound, surrounded by barbed wire, and feel like I was serving a prison sentence.  I experienced fear, discomfort, and frustration like I'd never known before....but I kept putting one foot in front of the other and pushing through.  And now I'm one of the 'old' girls in the neighborhood, a seasoned expat wife who gives advice and tips to the newbies.  It's pretty weird, but pretty great.

The summer was wonderful for us.  We spent loads of time with our family members in the US, and just like the previous summers - I am so appreciative of the love and support we have.  The kids have an amazing array of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who dropped everything to spend time with them.  I am always humbled by the way people show us over and over again, that we are special...that we are loved.  It might be the greatest gift of an experience like this one - because none of us takes our time together for granted.

Now we're back, and the kids have finished their first week back at school.  I haven't had any trouble getting back into the routine of going grocery shopping and cooking everything from scratch....it's actually quite pleasant to have the quiet routine after being so busy this summer.  It hasn't all been roses and sunshine, however....but it never is!

I had to take Molly to get blood drawn to check her iron levels.  We had them checked over the summer, and she was very anemic.  Her pediatrician advised us to have her blood checked after a month of iron supplements, and of course that meant that we'd have it checked here.  In the US, we went down the hall from the pediatrician's office, and had her blood taken at the lab.  It took less than 5 minutes, and we had the results in 3 days.  Here, I had to take her to the local clinic.  We explained what we needed to the front desk, and then waited 20 minutes.  A nurse took her weight and temperature, and then we waited 10 minutes.  We then saw the doctor, who made several phone calls, and about 30 minutes,  informed us that they were unable to draw blood in this clinic.  We'd have to drive into the city, on a weekday, and get there between 8 and 10 am.  Which means that Molly will miss a full day of school, and we will spend hours in the car and at the city clinic, and who knows how long it will be before we get the results.  It's frustrating, especially after enjoying the easy access to medical care over the summer....but we will get through it.

A Kiss Goodbye

We are packing up and heading out for the summer!  Or winter....depending on where you live.  I have survived another school year here, and it's been a doozy.

I had two dear friends that moved away.  I volunteered on the PTA board, and immediately regretted it.  I hung in, and while I wouldn't wish to repeat the experience, I'm glad I did it.  We visited Dubai and South Africa, and saw amazing sights.  The kids grew and thrived, and we've all gained even more patience and compassion from our time here.

We are leaving two weeks early, so we had to say our goodbyes to everyone in the neighborhood, and at school.  I am always extremely awkward at greetings and goodbyes here, because it's so different than what I'm used to.  You see, people here are kissers.  They kiss when they meet, they kiss when they say hello, they kiss goodbye......that's a LOT of kissing!  Some do the single kiss on the cheek.  Some do the double.  Some do a sort of combination, grab your shoulders and kiss you on each cheek.  I'm much more comfortable with a wave, a fist bump, a "Yo, how's it going?" sort of approach, but I'm definitely the odd man out.  Someone told me that in certain areas of Europe, they do up to SIX kisses at each greeting!  I'm so relieved we didn't move there!

So, two years down and one to go.  I'm still not completely loving this experience, but I'm confident that I can make the best of it.  Ciao, Luanda - I will see you in August....but I'm still not going to kiss you.

Sun City

Finally!  Here is the post about our trip to Sun City, South Africa.

This trip was the first time we've done any 'safari' activities, and now I can honestly say that I can see the appeal.  I'm not exactly a fan of 'roughing it' - so when I imagined a safari, I wasn't really enthused. I pictured dirt, bugs, heat.....all things that I've get more than enough of, living in Angola!  I couldn't have been more wrong, though - it was an amazing experience, getting to see the amazing animals of Africa.

Adam and Miles rode a mama elephant, whose baby followed the whole time, often nursing!

Taken from on top of a mountain, right before riding the longest, highest, fastest zip-line!

Zip-line - equal parts scary and terrifying!

This cheetah REALLY liked Adam. 

We rode elephants and did the zip-line.  We petted a cheetah, and watched warthogs run around.  We also ate at delicious restaurants, did a bit of shopping, Adam played golf, and Molly and I got our hair done!  It was a great mix of activities, and I'm so glad we went.  If you ever get a chance to visit Africa, I can't say enough good things about South Africa!  Every time we've visited, we've met the nicest people, and had a wonderful time.

Doing Good

I still need to post more pictures from our holiday to South Africa, but that will come a bit later today.  Right now, I want to make sure I write this, while it's fresh in my mind.

I've been in somewhat of a funk for the past few weeks.  There are a lot of reasons, but nothing huge.  As much as I've adapted and learned over the past 18 months, I think I'm still struggling with truly accepting my life here.  I've said before - I don't feel like I belong.  I have a lot of guilt over the undeserved blessings that we have, and there are many days that it feels like a sea of hopelessness is just outside my door.

I try and help where and when I can, but it never feels like enough.

Our maid, Sao, is a single mom.  She has three daughters that she is raising, and now she's also raising her young nephew. She comes to work every single day, with a smile on her face.  She is endlessly kind to me, to the kids, to Adam, to Fletcher.  Her quiet presence makes our house feel like a safe haven in this strange place.  I try to tell her, in my limited Portuguese, how much I appreciate her.  Today I think I was able to show her.

Beautiful Sao!

I made her a dress.  Such a simple thing, but she was SO happy!  She's never had something made just for her, and all of the money she makes goes to support her family.  She thinks that I gave her a gift, but I feel like I got the best gift of all.  In this one person's life, just for today, I made things better.  That's enough, at least for today.

A day in my life

Living an expat life is an entirely different experience from being in the US.  Because this is our first time doing an expat assignment, we've had to adjust to the shock of living in Angola, and adjust to being an expat family.  Angola is such an isolated place, with very few modern conveniences, so it makes the entire experience full of wild contrasts. I've written a lot about how I have to make all of our meals, and often I make a lot of things from scratch. But today, I have a professional chef in my kitchen, making some meals for us! In the US, this would be unheard of - a luxury!  Here, it's not unusual for families to employ a chef several days per week. It's very affordable, and not everyone wants to spend a good chunk of each day in the kitchen. I figure with one day of the chef here, we can get at least three dinners made - and it will cost less than going out to eat ONCE at a nice restaurant in Angola.  But it's still very weird for me to say to people back home, "oh yeah, the chef is here!"

Another odd thing is that the kids are not exposed to all of the commercials and advertisements that are a part of life in America. They have no clue what the latest toys are, what video game just came out, or what clothing is popular. This is a nice thing, because clearly, there's no access to those things anyway. The kids don't ask for toys, and in general, most of the kids here seem very unspoiled. At the same time, you'll hear the kids talking very casually about where they've just gone on holiday, where they're going on the next holiday, and what their chef is making for dinner!  Expat kids are likely to know all the different perks of flying business class vs. economy, and they learn quickly which airlines have the best kid-friendly in flight entertainment. As someone who grew up living in the same small town her entire childhood, these things are just so different (and funny) to hear.

So I guess like anything, there are good and not so good parts about living here.  Some days, it feels like the bad stuff outweighs the good....but it's definitely an experience that our family has gotten a lot out of, and for that, I'm very thankful.  Oh, and I'm also thankful for what our chef has made today! Stuffed chicken with roasted potatoes, lasagna, mini pizzas, couscous salad, marinara sauce with meatballs, banana muffins, and chocolate mousse. YUM!

Madikwe

Our vacation had two parts - for the first six days, we were in Sun City, South Africa.  It was tons of fun, and I will post those pictures in another post.  The final four days were spent at Tuningi Lodge in Madikwe Reserve, also in South Africa.  Those four days were the most amazing that we have had on vacation, and we literally have thousands of pictures.  I will try to share some of the best here.

The watering hole behind our lodge

One of only five cheetahs in the reserve

The animals usually let us get very close!

Us in front of a termite mound - impressive!

We saw, heard, and learned so much in our short time in Madikwe.  All five of us agreed that it was the best trip ever, and we'd love to go back.  It's the first time I've seen nature as beautiful as we experienced in Alaska, and it was awesome.  We met the nicest people, and it was really an experience I will treasure forever.

Fond Farewell

It's that time of year again - VACATION!!!  We are leaving today for our spring break, and I can hardly wait to get on the plane.  I don't care how long the flight is, I don't care if there's any shopping where we're going.....all I care about is knowing that we can leave Angola!

It's been a stressful few weeks here.  Being on the PTA board is awful (though I do love the girls who are on it with me), we've got water problems again, and there have been some robberies/shootings that have happened in places that we go to frequently.  So....this mama needs a getaway.

I was chatting with a neighbor yesterday, who told me that she thinks she might be able to compete with me for the 'house with the most problems' title in our neighborhood.  I laughed, because I had sort of forgotten that we are the proud holders of that title.  Anyway, she's had a leaking roof and mold, and no one seems to be able to fix it.  She has called the help desk numerous times, and each time is told that someone will come, but no one does.  This is nothing new.  What is new is that yesterday she called again, and they told her to be patient, because they'd hired a new service company.  The only catch?  The service company doesn't have any tools yet.  I'll just let that sink in for a moment.


Seriously?  A service company without tools.  Of course!  That, my friends, is the stuff that Angola is made of.

So yes, I'm really anxious to have a break from this place.  I will return with pictures, stories, and hopefully - renewed patience, because clearly I am going to need it!

Still here

I'm sorry!  I haven't posted in a month, and it's not because there hasn't been anything exciting, funny, or traumatic happening over here - I've just been a slacker about writing it down for you.  My mom came to visit for three weeks, and it was AMAZING!  Every hard thing in life seems a little easier with my mom around, and it was just what I needed.  The kids had a blast with her, and now that she's gone...it's tough.

But there's a story that I've been itching to share, and it's about my sweet oldest child.  I have hesitated to write many stories about him here, because he's getting older (12!).  I never want him to feel like I've embarrassed him by my posts, or betrayed his trust - so that's the reason you won't see me mentioning him as much as his siblings.  But rest assured, Max has given his permission for me to share this story, and I'm so glad he did!

My last post here was on Valentine's Day, and I had no idea what my boy was up to that day.  Adam had just left for London for a week, and when the kids came home from school, there was no mention of Valentine's Day.  Maybe 10 days later, a friend happened to casually mention to me that Max had bought flowers for a girl at school on Valentine's Day!  I was shocked, and because I'm a little bit of an oversensitive mama (maybe!), I was sad that Max hadn't told me.  My next reaction was concern, because how on earth did he pay for these flowers?  He hadn't asked me for money, and I knew that the money he had from Christmas and his birthday had long ago been spent.  I couldn't imagine how he had gotten the money to pay for these flowers (15 roses, in Angola!), purchased them, given them to a girl, and never uttered a word to me about it.

I imagined all sorts of scenarios.  Did he take the money from my purse without asking?  Did he borrow the money from a friend?  Nothing made sense, and I had an hour to obsess over it before Max got home.  By the time he walked in the door, I was a little crazy (maybe!) to get my questions answered.  Wouldn't you like to know where a kid gets $40 without his parents knowing, in a foreign country, with no access to relatives, mail, or any other source of cash?  I sat him down and demanded the answer.  After I let Max know that I had found out about his romantic purchase, he spilled the details.

When we came back from the US this summer, we brought a number of supplies with us.  One of the things we brought were a few large boxes of fruit rollups, for the kids to take in their lunch boxes.  It seems that my enterprising young son found out that these snacks were in high demand at his school, so he started selling them instead of eating them.  Can you guess how many fruit rollups he sold in order to make $40?





Two.  Who knew that there was such a market over here for fruit snacks?!  If you're planning a trip to Angola, forget packing clothes and shoes - bring some fruit rollups!  I know a kid who can turn those snacks into cash for you.

Catching Up

I've neglected my little blog lately.  It's been a whirlwind of PTA business, school activities, social functions, and of course - all of the time and work that goes into keeping this family fed!  This week's culinary adventures included homemade sour cream, lemon sorbet, and cappuccino fudge cheesecake.

This was a big hit!

1 cup cream, 1T lemon juice, 1T white vinegar - and then you have sour cream!

We had a 'roving dinner party' this weekend in the compound.  Each couple is assigned a course to host (appetizers, main course, or dessert) and when you're not hosting, you're split up and going around to other houses to eat and mingle.  So really, given my feelings on socializing, it was a night of torture!  But much like moving to Angola, I try to push myself to do things that will challenge me.

Speaking of challenges - I've made a goal for myself to work out five days per week, and for all of January, I succeeded!  Working out seems to be the best way for me to stay positive, and we all know that is a big key to living here.  It's the hottest part of the year in Angola, and workouts are outside....which means I'm sweating away each morning.  It's not pretty, but I'm going to stick with it.

We are essentially halfway through our three year tour in Angola, and I've been thinking a lot about what comes next.  This is pretty much a pointless exercise, since most expats don't know what's coming next until right before it happens....but we think about it anyway!  My best pal in Angola left in December, and I've been able to keep my chin up, despite missing her terribly.  Now I've found out that another good friend is likely leaving soon, followed by several other ladies that I have come to enjoy.  This has got to be one of the hardest parts of living this way - it seems like the moment you form a bond with someone, either they're leaving or you are.  I keep telling my kids that even if we lived in one place for their entire childhood, friends would still move....but I admit, it's hard for me to deal with.  I don't have any idea how the kids will look back on all of their experiences, but I sure hope that they aren't angry with us for all of the moving around.

You Don't See That Every Day (unless you live in Angola, in which case you do see it every day and likely don't even notice anymore)

I just returned from an outing to several stores.  The first place I went was Kero, which is sort of an Angolan version of Wal-Mart.  It's big, has more selection than most stores, and it's clean-ish.  Today I noticed that they had put out a big display of back-to-school items.  I wandered over, and was surprised to see that they actually had a fair amount of notebooks, pencils, and backpacks.  A one-subject notebook with 80 pages was $9, so definitely not Wal-Mart prices....but that's typical for Angola.  What  did surprise me, though, was the picture on the front of the notebooks.

Yes, this is perfect for my 12 year old.

I know not all students are children, but really?  There were no other options for sale, so apparently someone thinks that this is appropriate for all students.  My poor children are going to have to suffer with their plain old, purchased in the USA notebooks!

On the way home, we passed by a strip of road that has lots of people selling different items.  It's a busy section of town, and people gather under an overpass to sell their wares.  I noticed two women sitting on plastic crates, getting their nails done - by what looked to be nine year old boys!  It seems a little unsanitary, getting a manicure under the highway...but maybe I'm just picky.  I paint my own nails, but I'm thinking maybe I should start training Miles, just in case he needs to earn some money.

All in all, it was a fairly entertaining outing.  I still miss my shopping buddy, JoAnn - it's really not the same when you're laughing to yourself about the strange things you see here - but I'm doing okay.

This Made Me Laugh in the Grocery Store

Usually I just shudder or cringe in the grocery store, so you know it must have been a pretty extraordinary day.  Not only did I find tortilla chips...

They must be good, being made "South of Mexico....In Africa", right?

Friday 'From Scratch' - Volume 2

It's FRIDAY!!!  I get to post my week of slaving away in the kitchen, and even better - I only have one more day to slave away at the gym!  I'm really determined to take advantage of the awesome trainer we have here, so five days a week, I'm at her mercy.  It's fabulous torture.  But along with the workouts, I'm trying to eat more healthily, so it's been a somewhat light week of baking.  Anyway, on to what's been cookin' here in Angola.

• Spaghetti Bread.  This is really a carb-fest, but the kids and Adam love it.  I started with the directions here Braided Spaghetti Bread but of course, I have to make my own bread dough.  Then, depending on what I have in the house, I will throw in some extra stuff like sausage or ground beef.  It looks fancy, but it's really easy.
• Hummus.  My friend Shimo taught JoAnn and I to make hummus last year, and it's become a staple at our house.  I make a double batch, and then everyone (except Max) gobbles it up with carrots, celery, and peppers.  The recipe has garbanzo beans, garlic, tahini (sesame paste), lemon juice, cumin, and salt.
• Waffles - same recipe as last week, just another batch for the always hungry kiddos.  Sidenote - our maid thinks waffles are the most delicious thing, EVER.  She'd never had them before we came here.  I think I'll pass on my waffle iron to her when we leave.
• Stuffed Chicken with Pasta.  This is one of the first dinners I ever made when Adam and I were newly married, and it's still one of his favorites.  Very simple, you just slice chicken breasts down the middle (but don't cut all the way through), and then cut a slit into each side and stuff with cheese.  Put the chicken breasts into a pan and cover them with spaghetti sauce, and bake at 400F for one house, and serve over pasta. 

I think that's about it.  We're having guests over for dinner tonight, and Adam is going to barbecue some hamburgers.  I'll make some buns for that, and a salad and maybe potato wedges.  All in all, sort of a boring week in the kitchen.  Although....Molly opened up a brand new giant box of Rice Krispies this week, and was treated to a bowl full of bugs!  So I guess excitement in the kitchen is over-rated.

Water and Life

Have you missed me posting about our water problems?  Well then, it's your lucky day!  For the past week or so (ever since we got back from our Dubai trip), our water pressure has been extremely low.  The first few days, I didn't think much of it - because frankly, it takes a lot more than low water pressure to impress me these days.  One night I went to fill up the bathtub, and the water was literally dribbling out of the faucet, down the wall of the tub.  This got my attention - because if there's one thing I really treasure, it's my nightly bath!  I'm sure you can guess where this is going....it's now been 5 days since we called and emailed, asking for maintenance to come and see what's wrong, and no one has come.  This morning I came home from kickboxing class, drenched in sweat - and was treated to an extra fun shower.  It went like this:  I'd turn on the water, hurry up and get wet, and then the water would stop.  I'd turn off the shower, wait a minute for the pressure to build back up, and then repeat the process.  I could get about 20 seconds of water each time, and I did manage to wash my hair, body, AND shave my legs - so really, I don't have much to complain about.

Adam and I had a very nice couple over to our house this weekend.  They were on their 'reccie' trip, to see if they want to come and live in Angola.  It does me so much good to talk to people who are in this stage.  Not only do I get to feel like I can help ease their worries, but it shows me how far I've come in the last 15 months.  When I first visited Angola, I was a wreck.  I cried every day, and I really and truly could not see how I could ever survive here.  Even after we decided that yes, we would do it - I wasn't sure how long I'd last.  But I told our guest this weekend, that what I've learned is that the key isn't being so strong that nothing gets you down - it's being strong enough that when things do get you down, you get back up again.

I've sent another round of emails about our water situation, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.  Thank you to everyone who checks in on me through this blog - I love being able to share bits of life here with you!

Friday 'From Scratch' Roundup

I've decided to do a weekly post listing all of the food items I've made.  This may only be interesting to me, I'm not sure - but whatevs - it's my blog!  This week is a little light on impressive culinary wizardry - I'm still getting back into the swing of things after vacation, and Adam was home for most of the week, which meant he barbecued quite a few dinners.  On the other hand....Adam has been unhappy with the lack of Starbucks-quality mocha supplies, and I decided to see if I could remedy the situation.  So here is my list for the week, with links for recipes.  Enjoy!  Or not!  I'll never know...

• Tortillas - I use a tortilla press, instead of rolling them out by hand. I use a simple recipe of flour, butter, salt, baking powder, and water.  It's easy, but very time consuming.  It involves standing at the counter for at least 40 minutes, and all of that work lasts for one dinner's worth of tortillas.  Still, they are delicious, and much cheaper than the $15 for 8 tortillas that are available in the grocery store. 
• Waffles - My kids, the boys especially, can go through an insane amount of waffles in a week.  I try to make enough that they have them for a few breakfasts per week, so I double this recipe. Oatmeal Waffles
• Maple Syrup - There's no maple syrup here, real or artificial, so I make ours.  I got the recipe from JoAnn, and it's very basic - water, white sugar, brown sugar, and maple extract.
• Mocha Syrup - Adam adds a few tablespoons of this to his coffee, and along with steamed milk and caramel sauce, it makes for a very happy husband.  I looked up a ton of recipes, and ended up throwing together a version that used ingredients I had here.  I used 1/2 cup of water, 2/3 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup alkalized cocoa powder, 1/4 cup plus 1 TB of regular cocoa powder, and 1 1/4 TB of vanilla extract.  Mixed them all together over low heat, and then transferred to a jar and refrigerated.
• Salted Caramel Sauce - Remember how I said I made this for Adam?  Welllll........once I got a taste of this, it was all over.  Now I'm putting it into my coffee, too - who could pass up a Salted Caramel Latte?  Not this girl.  I used this recipe, but instead of fancy shmancy salt, I just used about a tsp of regular table salt. Salted Caramel Sauce

That's it for this week.  I don't count the stuff I make from mixes I brought over here with me (like Ranch Dressing, Italian Dressing, etc), and I don't count things that I would normally make back in the US, like....roasted potatoes.  This list is purely for things that I would have likely never attempted to make, back when I lived in the land of convenience. I enjoy cooking and baking, but I doubt that I will continue to make all of these things from scratch when we're living in the US again.  For now, though, I entertain myself by imagining my boys driving their future wives insane by casually mentioning all of the things that their mom whipped up from scratch!

Christmas Vacation

We are back from our holiday in Dubai, and all five of us agree - it was AMAZING!  These vacations that we're able to take are not the only good thing about this expat gig, but they're definitely one of the best.  We took a flight out of Luanda on Thursday evening, and landed in Dubai on Friday morning.  Flying seven hours with three kids (plus 3 hours in the Angola airport before leaving) was surprisingly easy, for the most part.  We've gotten pretty good at traveling, and everyone is in good spirits when it's time for vacation!

So - we arrived in Dubai, and it was gorgeous!  I've never seen so many beautiful skyscrapers.

Dubai Marina

The view from our hotel room

We had an absolute blast!  We spent loads of time walking around the malls and shopping.  We went on a desert safari, and rode camels.

The hut where we had Christmas dinner

The belly dancer at the end of our safari - the boys reallllly liked her!

We went to the top of the world's tallest building, and took a historical tour of the city.

Burj Khalifa

We swam with dolphins, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

It's now been 15 months of living in Angola, and I think I can finally say that I'm glad we signed up for this experience.  It's changed me, I think for the better, and I know that we've made memories and friends that will last a lifetime.  I still look around and can't believe that this is really my life...but it is, and what an amazing life it's turned out to be.